Every last woman who has been in an abusive relationship has said that. I know I said it. I said it more than once because he hit me more than once. I said it to myself after he cut me down. I said it after he told me I was worthless. I said it after he said "I'm the best you are ever going to get.". If you think about it, all women say it. No matter how a man treats her. It must be true if he said he loves her, right? Wrong.
Does an abuser change? Only if he wants to. He has the choice to not hit the woman he says he loves. He has a choice to walk away from an explosive situation. Even if she is confronting him and yelling at him. He has the choice to tell her "LOOK! You are pushing me too far. Let me breathe!" and then walk away. Do batterers want to hit the person they love? As a victim/survivor of abuse, I want to say yes. I know the man who beat me denies he ever laid a finger on me. He denies he ever raped me. Until he owns what he did to me, he will never change the person that he is. I was lucky. I left him and he didn't hunt me down. He did stalk me but that didn't do physical harm to me. Just mental. Anyway...I digress. This isn't about me. This is about you if you have been in or are in an abusive relationship.
Is the abuser always a man? Nope. Women are abusive also. Let's face it...women are evil sometimes and can be more cruel with words than a man can. Women know how to cut to the heart of things and bleed you until you can no longer feel a thing. Can your child abuse you? Absolutely. Abuse can come from family, friends, spouse, partner. An abuser is a ticking time-bomb. They will explode one day. Don't be on the receiving end. As I said, I was lucky and I was able to leave my abuser without fear of retaliation. A lot of women/men aren't so lucky. Please...if you see any of the following signs, don't sit back and say "None of my business". Attending your family/friends funeral will be your business. Is that what you want? If you are a victim...look at these signs. Do you fit into any of them? Don't make excuses. This is not "love". This is abuse. Find help. You will have to be sneaky about it but there is help. Even if it's through my blog, my comments are set on "moderation" meaning..I approve a comment before anyone reads it. Reach out to me. I will help. You have my word. As for signs...
Does an abuser change? Only if he wants to. He has the choice to not hit the woman he says he loves. He has a choice to walk away from an explosive situation. Even if she is confronting him and yelling at him. He has the choice to tell her "LOOK! You are pushing me too far. Let me breathe!" and then walk away. Do batterers want to hit the person they love? As a victim/survivor of abuse, I want to say yes. I know the man who beat me denies he ever laid a finger on me. He denies he ever raped me. Until he owns what he did to me, he will never change the person that he is. I was lucky. I left him and he didn't hunt me down. He did stalk me but that didn't do physical harm to me. Just mental. Anyway...I digress. This isn't about me. This is about you if you have been in or are in an abusive relationship.
Is the abuser always a man? Nope. Women are abusive also. Let's face it...women are evil sometimes and can be more cruel with words than a man can. Women know how to cut to the heart of things and bleed you until you can no longer feel a thing. Can your child abuse you? Absolutely. Abuse can come from family, friends, spouse, partner. An abuser is a ticking time-bomb. They will explode one day. Don't be on the receiving end. As I said, I was lucky and I was able to leave my abuser without fear of retaliation. A lot of women/men aren't so lucky. Please...if you see any of the following signs, don't sit back and say "None of my business". Attending your family/friends funeral will be your business. Is that what you want? If you are a victim...look at these signs. Do you fit into any of them? Don't make excuses. This is not "love". This is abuse. Find help. You will have to be sneaky about it but there is help. Even if it's through my blog, my comments are set on "moderation" meaning..I approve a comment before anyone reads it. Reach out to me. I will help. You have my word. As for signs...
Some signs of domestic violence and abuse are more obvious than others. Below are a few of the most common signs of domestic abuse and violence.
Does your partner ever:
- Accuse you of cheating and being disloyal?
- Make you feel worthless?
- Hurt you by hitting, choking or kicking you?
- Intimidate and threaten to hurt you or someone you love?
- Threaten to hurt themselves if they don’t get what they want?
- Try to control what you do and who you see?
- Isolate you?
- Pressure or force you into unwanted sex?
- Control your access to money?
- Stalk you, including calling you constantly or following you?
If you recognize the signs of domestic violence and suspect that you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, you are not alone; there is help in your community. If you are lost with nowhere to turn call 800.799.SAFE (7233).
There are people out there who want to help. Your life is worth so much more than someone who says they love you but their actions prove otherwise. Whether that is physical, emotional or mental. Find the love that means everything to you. The love for yourself. Your love is what is pure and true. You can do this. I know you can.
There are people out there who want to help. Your life is worth so much more than someone who says they love you but their actions prove otherwise. Whether that is physical, emotional or mental. Find the love that means everything to you. The love for yourself. Your love is what is pure and true. You can do this. I know you can.
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